I know it isn't normal to notice how much water my little nephew, Elliott, drinks. I know it isn't normal to sneak glucose checks on a 17 month old when his mom isn't looking. I know it isn't normal to just drink coffee for lunch because of a stubborn bloodsugar of 300+. I know it isn't normal to notice the insulin pump tucked in the red sweatshirt and wonder if your sister bolused for her coffee with cream. I know it isn't normal to go the bathroom and take yet another shot of insulin--your 4th of the day at 11am, in an attempt to bring your glucose level into range. I know it isn't normal to think twice before driving with elevated bloodsugar, considering how your vision might be affected. I know it isn't normal to wonder about your nephew's sweet tooth and monitor how much sugar he's eating and wonder why he loves donuts, cupcakes, ice-cream and scones so much. I know it isn't normal to drool over the bakery in the cafe, knowing how guilty it'd make you feel if you actually ate it, especially with a bloodsugar of 300, but consider it anyway.
I know none of these things are "normal," yet for me, they are all part of my life, and are totally normal for me. It is part of what makes me tired and a little stressed out living with a chronic illness like type 1 diabetes. I usually don't notice it, but today, for some reason, I notice, and it makes me sad.
There is no cure for diabetes.
Yet.
11 comments:
Back when Brendon was diagnosed, I remember thinking we'd have to get used to a new kind of normal.
I don't give most of the things we do for him a second thought until we do it in front of people who aren't used to it. And then it dawns on me that the rest of the world doesn't live their lives the way we do.
P.S. It looks like your mom isn't used to the "normal" taking of pictures the way we bloggers do :)
Oh Amylia,
I think everything you said sounds like normal to me. But you're right; it's a different kind of normal - it's a diabetes normal. But I wish it didn't have to be normal for us.
I hope your sadness passes quickly.
I completely understand. I had a low tonight on the way home from the gym with my fiance' and his best friend. And to Ross (the fiance'), it was normal. And to Billy (the bf), it wasn't...and actually sort of awkward.
Atleast there's alot of us out there that this stuff is "normal" to...strength in numbers :).
It always hits me really hard on the days that I feel "abnormal". Most of the time is just regular stuff, but on the days I notice it, it can be very depressing. :(
I bully my friends into letting me test their blood sugars. :) So I don't blame you for checking Elliot's.
None of that is normal, or anywhere close. I wonder, even, if people who don't have this in their lives, or something like it, can even know what it means to think those things and feel those worries. There's something that changes in a fundamental way when our daily health is threatened. I'm not sure what it is, but it's powerful. And I hate that these things have come to be "normal" to anyone.
I hope that your sweet nephew never needs to know these things, and I hope that your BG gets back where it should be. And that your cold heals. :)
Normal is what we make of it, and it is normal for you to be aware of blood sugar levels & diabetes-related behaviors! It is also entirely normal to pay attention to the ones you love and wonder if they are taking care of themselves, and to hope for the best for their health.
Diabetes, the clock watching, the carb counting, all the numbers -- it's hard. It's stressful.
But hey, some people thrive on stress. Is it "normal" to be a type A personality? Ha ha, I don't think so, but that's because I'm not type A!
Breathe in, breathe out, repeat...
We all have our own reference points for what is "normal".
Yeah, sometimes I feel like a freak at the circus when I inject through my skirt, under my desk, at lunchtime. Yet, at other times it doesn't bother me at all. I sure wish I could be in the "doesn't bother" mode all of the time.
My nephews are 22, 20 and 16 and I still take note of how much liquid they're drinking. When one of them slammed two cans of Mountain Dew down on Christmas Eve, I was about ready to freak.
That's the way it is.
Great post.
Amylia -
Everyones version of normal is different. Normal for a Packers fan is to sit outside shirtless, with a painted face in 10 degree weather and on a Sunday afternoon to cheer for the Pack. To me that's insane, no where near normal. Your version is much closer to my normalcy.
Own your version of normal and don't worry about what others think.
In college I had a bumper sticker that said, "Why Be Normal?" It totally hit home for me and I one on my car and on my bedroom door!
;)
Kelly Kunik
I wish you well
I pray for healing
and courage
I hope that normal becomes a beautiful gift.
May the tomorrow show you beauty and not your pain.
Shannon has taught me a lot about the illness, and I wish you both well. It is all I can do, holding hands in the space in between.
they are very normal. we all have our own definition of normal and this is ours.
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